Orange Blossom Wishes
· 2 ·
through many harmful times. Fate, or perhaps destiny,
provided I would be
the one to go through these experiences. While I have grown
from an innocent
child to a sage grandmother, I have slowly and painfully,
yet thankfully
come to the conviction nothing happens by coincidence;
everything is part of
a greater plan set down by a much bigger God who truly has
His best for us in
His heart.
The very first episode of being molested is clearly etched
in my mind. I was
seven years old. As a child I was molested for almost eight
years. As a woman
I was abused for sixteen years. The deafening silence
cloaked my life, seeming
to take the very breath from my lungs at times. I struggled
to suppress what I
was enduring, but the experience began to form a persona all
its own. I liken
it almost to a cute little elephant sitting in the corner of
the family parlor, not
taking up a lot of room and seeming rather innocuous at
first, but obviously
out of place. As time passed and I grew, so did the
elephant. I often wondered
when or even if anyone was ever going to notice, much less
acknowledge the
fact that a rather large pachyderm was taking up residence
within my very soul.
It was leaving a great amount of waste product inside my
fragile spirit that only
increased as time went along. Inside my injured psyche was a
precious innocent
child, inwardly and silently screaming out, yet nobody
hearing, “Please, won’t
somebody stop the deafening silence? Can’t you see it, can’t
you smell it? Get
this terror out of my life before it kills me.”
Unfortunately, it did kill a portion
of me, but thank God for His resurrection power.
Hopefully, before you finish reading the account of a life
subjected to molestation,
sexual assault, and marital abuse, you will gain a strong
reassurance,
whether you are the victim or a friend or family member of a
victim, that there
is hope beyond measure for a future of a full life well
worth living. Yes, a life free
from abiding in the times someone trespassed against you,
your body, mind,
soul, and spirit.
The last thing I want this to be is just another religious
book about being
molested or abused and getting over it. The cry of my heart
is that in some
way you will be able to relate to the events of my life,
know that someone else
has walked the path you have traveled, or may be traveling
now, should you
be able to relate this book to any part of your life, and
that you will discover a
hope that had likely vanished along the way. While I do not
set out to write a
religious piece, I can’t make it real without presenting the
divine intervention
and revelation that was the source of my deliverance from
total desperation to
a life renewed with glorious hope and faith for a future.